Mockingpant and Face Toupee

 

I’m going to start combing my hair right across my face every morning.

I’ll be jabbing a few strands right into my nostril, mouth or ear for good measure…

It is going to be there. Mocking me. If I create the illusion that I want it this way, maybe it will no longer find pleasure in sassing me. I’m going to be playing little mind games with these rogue hairs.

It’s that feeling, the delicate tickle, as a hair dances across my face.  Getting itself stuck somewhere.  NOOOOO!!!   Where is it?  Where is it coming from? How did it get here??
Even when my hair is in a ponytail, there will STILL be one or 2 little hairs that blow across my face…who sent them? Why are they so mobile?

I cannot endure this feeling for long. But I must keep cool.  I can do this.  I subtly toss my hair back, hoping to entice it back home. No.  Oh no…it won’t go.

I must now begin grabbing and swiping  my face trying to find the valiant pest.  With my new idea of the facial comb over…somewhat pre toupee I’ll be set. I find myself wondering if this has been a problem for Sia? She looks great, this is the style I need.

As a cherry on this pretty sundae I’ll stuff my pant legs into my runners.

Look at me, striding across a parking lot like it’s some sort of catwalk.  I catch a glimpse of the mocking pant stuck behind the tongue! WHAT? NO!! GET OUT OF THERE!!  This is absurd.  I was having a small moment of super model, and now I’m shaken from this fairytale and thrown back out to flounder.

I bend down to yank it out…my hair falls desperately into my face…..

Please enjoy one of my favourite songs by Sia “Bird Set Free”

Wrapping my mind around it

There’s this thing I need to do.  Its called, “wrapping my mind around it”

When some new tidbit comes up…an activity…a possible outing..even watching a movie later at home during my chill time  UHHHHHH my first instinct will be NOPE!  No, no I cannot possibly!  If you’re right there in front of me I might try to sound enthusiastic…unless you’re my husband.  He always gives me a heads up of possible plans or ideas for later or ideally the next day.  Then I am free to ponder and decide if it’s something I’m game for.   Or if it’s something I just truly want us to do as a family for the kids then I’ll be able to think out all the variables before agreeing.

When we first met, I hadn’t learned to say what I actually wanted or felt yet.  So there we were in a mile long line up outside of Future Shop on Boxing Day.  We were there for an X-box.  Yeah sure honey I’ll love to play X-box with you.  Let’s do it.

I played once.  He likes to bring that up. hehe

These days I usually just say no.  It’s easier.  That way I don’t need to stress about how I’ll feel when the time comes to DO what I’ve said I will.  Worse than knowing I have to go somewhere or do something that will drain 200% of my energy is realizing I have to cancel.  Also, I just don’t like to join classes, or attend tupperware parties, or meet up and make plans from there..WHAT?!  NO!!

People like me and Max who feel EVERYTHING from other people’s moods to a change in atmosphere, need time to regroup and process and prepare.  To live an authentic life and truly follow our path, while being super happy, we need to do what we are capable of.  We need to find our unique strengths and talents.   If you think someone should “push themselves” to do MORE, please take the time to understand.  There is a difference.  One that makes the pressure of doing, saying, being, and attending everything you SHOULD…painful and tiring.  Eventually leaving the individual feeling empty, sad and unsure how to function in this world if they’re expected to do what they cannot.  You cannot assume that someone who isn’t doing everything society says they should, are strange, lazy, or that they don’t care.   They may just need more time to think about it.  Time to refuel and the ability to choose something out of the box rather than conform and follow the old path.

Give some sensory sensitive soul a break today!  Stop pressuring them to do what you think they should do.  Give them time to decide and think about something before giving you an answer.  Tell them it’s ok to say no and they’re welcome to change their mind.  Tell them you love them 100%.

It’s pretty simple…I have a certain measure of energy and I use most of it on the day to day life of taking care of my sweet family!  Anything extra can only really work if everything else has gone perfectly and I don’t need to do anything demanding right before or after.  Sounds high maintenance I guess…but it’s just the way I am.   Of course, I have family and friends I adore and love to visit with.  I have my favourite people…it’s easy and I know nothing unexpected will happen.  Even after those perfect times I need time to refuel.  Do I wish I was a true social butterfly who loved surprises and visitors and parties and activities?  I used to.  Now I’ve never been happier being exactly me.