Mockingpant and Face Toupee


I’m going to start combing my hair right across my face every morning.

I’ll be jabbing a few strands right into my nostril, mouth or ear for good measure…

It is going to be there. Mocking me. If I create the illusion that I want it this way, maybe it will no longer find pleasure in sassing me. I’m going to be playing little mind games with these rogue hairs.

It’s that feeling, the delicate tickle, as a hair dances across my face.  Getting itself stuck somewhere.  NOOOOO!!!   Where is it?  Where is it coming from? How did it get here??
Even when my hair is in a ponytail, there will STILL be one or 2 little hairs that blow across my face…who sent them? Why are they so mobile?

I cannot endure this feeling for long. But I must keep cool.  I can do this.  I subtly toss my hair back, hoping to entice it back home. No.  Oh no…it won’t go.

I must now begin grabbing and swiping  my face trying to find the valiant pest.  With my new idea of the facial comb over…somewhat pre toupee I’ll be set. I find myself wondering if this has been a problem for Sia? She looks great, this is the style I need.

As a cherry on this pretty sundae I’ll stuff my pant legs into my runners.

Look at me, striding across a parking lot like it’s some sort of catwalk.  I catch a glimpse of the mocking pant stuck behind the tongue! WHAT? NO!! GET OUT OF THERE!!  This is absurd.  I was having a small moment of super model, and now I’m shaken from this fairytale and thrown back out to flounder.

I bend down to yank it out…my hair falls desperately into my face…..

Please enjoy one of my favourite songs by Sia “Bird Set Free”