About to Crack…

So just when things get good, all sorts of things come crashing down.  First I’m sick…like lose your voice and feel run over sick.  I don’t know how many times you need to repeat and redirect your kids but I have to A LOT.  Without a voice I’m just a mouse chasing big cats.  Two big cuddly but crazy cats.

This past weekend I decided to get Max into the kitchen with me.  I actually don’t get in there to do too much so why not bring a pal and see what happens?  Well it turns out he loves cracking eggs.  What a great idea!  Teach your lil guy who is addicted to cracking open kinder eggs how to crack a real egg.  This was likely one of my least brilliant moments in parenting.  I’ve had quite a few. But this one was downright ridiculous.  I refuse to go on water slides or ski and many other things that I see as far too risky.  But here I am throwing caution to the wind with a carton of delicate oval shaped bits of sloppy goo.

He now keeps his stool aimed at the cupboard where it all started.  A constant reminder that he will be back.

So far we have made cookies, pancakes (twice), french toast, a few we didn’t do anything with…oops, and cheesecake (ok truth be told I made that on my own to help me deal).  He has attempted to take his stool to the fridge where he might be thinking of reaching the eggs on his own.  Today when I got them out he grabbed one and pushed me away directing me to put the rest back.  As if he were limiting himself.   He lightly thumped and clunked the egg on the bowl that is now THE bowl he will want to use to crack eggs every single time.  It’s in the video I took of him doing it the first time so must be recreated perfectly.   Anyway, of course this is all fun and games and wonderful that he is so excited to help in the kitchen.  Is there a but?  Of course there’s a but!!!!  He now wants to crack eggs EVERY SINGLE DAY..ok it’s only been a few days.  But speaking from past experience I would reckon (reckon hahhah what am I a cowboy) this will be the case.  I will bet you a dozen eggs.

And to put a cherry on it,  I got a letter from the school that there has been a case of lice in our daughter’s classroom.  NOOOOOOOOO  My husband told me to put my big girl pants on.  This from the man that had to drive home while at work one summer day to get a tick off of me.  I completely lost it.  Lice would require a team of experts to come in and deal, as I would pass out in a pile of mayo, tea tree oil and various kill kits.  No.  This cannot happen here.  I just can’t deal with that.  I feel as if I’m almost daring the universe by typing this.  Of course I’d deal with it. But I’d cry a lot and spend a lot of money on every possible removal trick.

I kept my kids home today to inspect them.  NOTHING!  But this doesn’t mean we are safe.  The lice of today sound like a very shifty, tight “nit” operation.  They are gluing themselves a family to your head.  They will not go without a fight.  Am I a fool to think she won’t get it?  Once one has it do they usually all get it?  Will it look bad if I suddenly stop walking her into school..or worse, show up clad in shower caps and aiming a natural oil spray at anyone’s head who comes too close?Someone tell me …should I homeschool??  So many things point to homeschool and now one more.  The problem is I have the attention span of …wait what was I saying?

Yeah, so I’m sick, I’ve got egg all over the place and a horrible case of the heebie jeebies.


3 thoughts on “About to Crack…

  1. I love reading you! Thanks for letting us know what is going on in your crazy life as a mom at home! I don’t have to deal with autism but I have 3 kids at home and sometime, it can be crazy too! (Sorry, I am French speaking, I hope there is not too much mistake!)

    Liked by 1 person

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