Max will be 5 very soon. He has no words. He has never said Mommy. He has never said I love you. I know he shows me, I’m the first one to rave about the many ways he does. He’s my lil guy, my angel…I love him bigger than the universe…bigger than time…and my lil guy doesn’t speak.
When he was 2 my husband started saying “Maybe he’s mute”. I was SO horrified at the thought of this. But 3 years later he still doesn’t speak. We had a beautiful SLP before getting him into Pre-k. She did great work with him. We didn’t get to see her very often as they have so many lil ones to manage and so little time. Again a wonderful SLP in the school system but she had so many kids on her list and so little time. We moved in August. We have a great place to take our son and have been waiting for an SLP to start working with him there. It hasn’t worked out and now I am desperately phoning people on a list sounding like a pathetic begging fool to please meet us. PLEASE WORK WITH MY SON…what I don’t say is please be dedicated, loving, patient, kind, and have a spark with Max. But this is what I want. I want someone amazing…I want someone who LOVES him …who sees him…who can challenge him in a safe, loving way…who has experience and time and integrity. PLEASE WORLD let me find this miracle worker….I just want to hear “Hi Mommy, I love you” I want to hear what his favourite colour is. I want to know why he loves Slimfast bars so much. I want to understand his love for Gordon Mr Engine #4. I want to ask him how his day at school was and help him with stuff that is bothering him. I don’t know how his day was other than a few things they tell me. They. I want to know what HE has to say…what he loves and hates and wishes. What do you wish my sweet boy? If I could have anything for Christmas this year I would like to know that my son will start working with someone he loves in the New Year. That they will devote a regular space for him to work on his speech. That he will enjoy it. Work at it. And do his best as he does with everything he’s ever faced. How can our non-verbal son be almost 5 and not have an SLP? Why didn’t I get us on every waiting list I could when I moved? I feel so sad and disappointed in my naive hope that everything would just happen. If I can pass on any good advice here it would be to get things set for your kids. Be in control. Don’t assume. Things won’t always work and you need backup plans in place because EVERY single service and therapy takes time. You need to look ahead and call ahead and ask questions and keep on top of things.
My son will speak one day. Even if it’s using an iPad. However he will be able, he will tell me he loves me and I will wait. I just don’t want to be the reason he waits.